Born out of a crisis of “who am I,” Lauv’s debut album ~How I’m Feeling~ creates a safe space for listeners to be inspired to embrace their identity in all its facets.
Having publicly addressed feeling lost and empty prior to making the album, Lauv is no stranger to the pressure many face in the 21st century to have an identifiable, unique and consistent brand. Fitting yourself into a clean and concise box can be daunting, confusing, oftentimes disingenuous and a task ridden with anxiety. Instead of giving into the pressures to do so, Lauv (whose real name is Ari Leff) flipped the concept on its head and created six characters, each representing a different part of his personality.
Purple – Existential Lauv
Blue – Hopeless Romantic Lauv
Green – Goofy Lauv
Yellow – Positive Lauv
Orange – F**kboy Lauv
Red – Spicy Lauv
Celeb Secrets was lucky enough to be invited a pre-album listening party in lower Manhattan on a cold Tuesday night in February, where the atmosphere was open and inviting upon arrival. Individuals mingled while serving themselves drinks, making it almost feel like you were at an evening dinner party; only this time it was hosted by the most listened to independent artist in the world.
I walked around the room searching for a place to set down my bags and to my surprise, there Ari was socializing throughout the room where everyone was about to enjoy his most recent body of work. Flowers in each of the colors representing his “boy band” of personalities draped down from the celling, creating a childlike and joyful ambiance.
After an hour or so, everyone gathered around a collective of couches, chairs and stools to share the experience of listening to How I’m Feeling for the first time. After approaching the mic stand in slow motion, Lauv apologized for his “unattainable humor” immediately, revealing the charming quirkiness and relatability he is known for.
He opened with a single already released on the album, “Tattoos Together,” explaining that the song was inspired by a time in which him and a girl he had been seeing for only two weeks got tattoos together. But don’t worry — he was quick to let us know the tattoo was in fact not her name. It was placed right next to his 7/11 tattoo that he got because he “loves 7/11.”
Next up was “Canada,” a song with Alessia Cara. The 25-year-old recounts that the same girl who he got a tattoo with texted him an article that said, “to find the best quality of life, move to Canada.” This text inspired an imaginative and dreamy tune in which the lyrics play with the idea of dropping all responsibilities and moving to Canada.
This same childlike attitude was present in the next song, “Invisible Things.” Before playing the tune, the pop visionary spoke to the audience about how one of his goals is to get back to the childlike nature he once had. And although it’s important to learn and grow, the confidence and ability to just tell someone you love them because you love them is something he aspires to have in his every day life.
“Who” doesn’t love BTS? Their first all English song with Lauv is in fact a feature on the new record, and is an epic anthem with pleading vocals crying out, “who are you, you’re not the girl I fell in love with…. I’m so sick of waiting for love.”
Diving deeper into the song with BTS, Lauv explained how he was nervous to meet the guys for the first time backstage at their show at Wembley Stadium. He was shocked when they revealed they were fans of his and that they liked the “deep cuts,” such as “The Story Never Ends” off I Met You When I Was 18.
Next up was “Tell My Mama.”
“Tell my mama that I love her, and I’m sorry for the pain, sorry for the pain that I caused her, when I was younger.”
Lauv explains to the room that he remembers always stressing his mom out when he was a kid. The song surrounds the idea of being a person you know you don’t want to be and holds some heavy lines such as, “doing lines in the bathroom, I hate myself but I feel like I have to.”
Ari then took to his guitar to play us a beautiful live acoustic version of “Understood,” which is a moving song about long distance love that shows off his beautiful falsetto.
My personal favorite was “Lonely Eyes.” The track is a song about being with someone even though you know they are not the one. You’re together because you see the same sort of loneliness in the other as you do in yourself, and it helps to fill a void. Although the lyrics are somewhat somber, the beat is killer and I couldn’t help but love the nerdy dancing Ari was doing while listening.
Spicy Lauv was up next with “El Tejano (feat Sofia Reyes).” If not already charming enough, Ari explains how El Tejano is an actual restaurant him and his friends love in North Hollywood. The song is hot with a Latin vibe, and the music video was actually filmed in the restaurant. Ari explains that his only goal with the tune was to get “free margaritas for life.”
Last but not least was his favorite of the album, “Modern Loneliness,” which is a vulnerable, bluesy song about how he can use some love to help his lonely heart. Towards the end, he ventured into the crowd of people all there to support him. After the song ended, I couldn’t help but be inspired by him saying that he no longer feels lonely. That this album “saved his life” and ultimately allowed him to re-fall in love with music and heal many of his deepest wounds.
Ari has been vocal to his fans about being in a depressive state last January and that during that time, he was resistant to ask for help. Eventually turning to therapy, psychiatry, medication, and his closest friends and family, the 25-year-old was back to himself.
Admitting you are not ok is one of the most courageous things I believe anyone can do, therefore, I was inclined to catch up with Ari after the listening session and ask him a question about steps for his fans, or any listeners can take to attain that sort of bravery.
“I think the biggest thing for me was realizing that just because somebody else may think they’re struggling more in someway, that doesn’t mean what you’re going through isn’t important,” he tells us. “Like for the longest time I felt like I watched other people go through really hard sh*** and I was like, ‘What I’m going through is less important because it’s not as bad but like, it’s always important what you’re going through.’ So I think realizing that and not being afraid to start talking to people is is like the biggest first step.”
Instead of releasing this album in a typical cycle, Lauv chose to release it song by song as each one became finished. Being an independent artist gives him the space to be able to do things as he wants to do them, therefore, with this album, we are getting the most genuine and authentic version of Lauv, and I can assure you it will not disappoint. Not only is the music outstanding, but the message and vulnerability in the lyricism and delivery makes it all the more phenomenal.
~how i’m feeling~ drops this Friday, March 6th.
Learn more about the record by watching our interview with Lauv below.
