Brooklyn-based artist, Connor Small, aka HUSKS, unveils the hardships of long-distance relationships through his newest single, “You Will Find A Garden.”
The artist wrote the song for his partner, who had to move across the country due to big life changes and was struggling with the fact that the pair would be apart. HUSKS wanted her to have the song as a way of letting her know that no matter where she is in the world, she will always have him with her through this song.
“It’s a difficult thing to write something very personal,” HUSKS reveals, “On one hand, since I was creating this song to be a gift, I really wanted to make it as perfect as possible for my partner and had to actively identify the ego in that intention and get over it. On the other hand, I had to keep in mind that as a songwriter it’s never possible to fully extricate your perspective from what you’re writing so I had to strike a balance.”
But it was all worth it once he shared the track with his loved one.
HUSKS says, “Sharing it with her was really scary too, but in the end, she loved the song and that was enough for me.”
Before becoming HUSKS, the singer, producer, and composer was part of a duo but felt abandoned by his collaborator and eventually came to the difficult decision to split from the group. The split was hard on HUSKS, on top of the deep loneliness he was experiencing from the breakup, he recently moved into a new city, making him feel more isolated than ever.
“[I was] questioning myself and even the idea of making music felt unbearable for a while,” he confesses.
In the midst of his loneliness, the artist was deep into binging a collection of horror movies. He found that these movies brought him a sense of comfort, and realized there had been centralized themes of isolation and the inner-self in the films, which made his loneliness dissipate.
And then, HUSKS was born.
“In one movie, I heard a line about how we’re all just husks, in one way or another – meaning we’re all just shells and we all have the power to fill or empty those shells based on the paths we choose in life,” HUSKS shares, “Something about that felt right, so I took on that moniker and started making music that tried to channel the sounds of horror movie scores, but tackled themes of loneliness, of anxiety, and isolation.”
HUSKS talks to Celeb Secrets about the emotional songwriting process of his new single, what inspires his dark, experimental electronic-pop, and details about his upcoming album!
Read more of our Q&A with HUSKS down below and don’t forget to listen to “You Will Find A Garden!” Let us know what you think by leaving a reaction down below or tweet us @celebsecrets!
Celeb Secrets: What is the meaning behind the name “HUSKS”?
HUSKS: “So, I started Husks after the duo I was in for several years broke up. I deeply respect their journey, but at the time I felt really abandoned by my collaborator, who at that point was the only person I had ever written and released music with. There was a lot of vulnerability between us which left a void when the group abruptly broke up, and I was feeling deep loneliness from that split. On top of that, I was in a new city and all of that made me feel really isolated, alone and had me questioning myself and even the idea of making music felt unbearable for a while.
It was around this time that I started binging horror movies. I had always enjoyed them, but there was something about them that made me feel less scared, and eventually, I realized that the movies that focused on the themes of isolation and the inner-self made me feel less alone. In one movie, I heard a line about how we’re all just husks, in one way or another – meaning we’re all just shells and we all have the power to fill or empty those shells based on the paths we choose in life. Something about that felt right, so I took on that moniker and started making music that tried to channel the sounds of horror movie scores, but tackled themes of loneliness, anxiety, and isolation. Slowly, I filled the container that had felt empty. I picked the plural of “Husks” rather than just “Husk,” because I wanted my music to represent a community. It was really important to me to keep that sense of all of us being our own vessels and having a degree of power & agency over the course of our lives.”
CS: You’ve described your music as “dark, experimental electronic-pop.” What helped you discover your unique sound?
H: “Around the same time as I started watching horror movies, my musical interests took a turn towards icier, more densely textural electronic and experimental pop music. I was listening to a lot of FKA twigs, Bjork, Arca, Lotic, Gazelle Twin and Moses Sumney, and was really inspired by the risks & experiments those artists took sonically and melodically. They all pushed the boundaries of song structure and production texture, while still keeping a degree of pop sensibility which I found fascinating.
So I started experimenting with those sounds and started finding my own voice within it. I vividly remember seeing FKA twigs on her MAGDALENE tour with one of my best friends and being so inspired by the sense of freeness within her music, that when I got home that night I wrote and produced what would eventually become the song “The Other Side,” which is on my new album that is dropping later this year.”
CS: What artists have inspired your music?
H: “Including the ones I mentioned before, I am really inspired by Kelsey Lu, Oliver Coates, and Lafawndah. I’ve been listening to Active Child a lot lately – I think there’s an openness in their music that is very intriguing. And Sevdaliza creates such a rich world for her audience that I find really inspiring for my own music.”
CS: What was the inspiration behind “You Will Find A Garden”?
H: “Ha, it was a blast to create but man, did it really make me work for it. At the end of the day, it was a two-year process from start to finish but I think it was well worth it.
The initial idea thematically came because I wanted to write a song for my partner, who was going through some major life changes and was about to move across the entire country. The song was a gift to her and through it, I wanted to say, “Hey, no matter where you are in the world you have this song, so you have a little piece of home with you.”
Musically, the original production idea focused more heavily on those choral synths you hear in the intro. And I was really going for this slow, Gothic chamber-pop feeling but I found that I was struggling to get the song hitting right even after a year of work. So I brought in my friend (and at the time my roommate) Benjamin Appel, who is a jazz pianist and just works in totally different categories of music than I do. I just needed a completely fresh ear on the composition, and he’s a huge reason that the song exists as it does.
We spent a few weeks writing and rewriting. We’d bounce ideas back and forth and one day he sent back this super lush piano version that he made overnight. The next day I chopped it up and added some layering to it, and eventually used almost all of it on the final version. It’s funny though because it turned into sort of a dream pop song when to that point, all the other songs I had finished were dense and felt really isolating. It was a huge growing experience for me as an artist to learn to not fight against what the song wanted to be and just let it exist in the way it needed to.”
CS: You mention that you wrote the song for your partner during her difficult time, what was the songwriting and recording process like for a personal and emotional song like this?
H: “Great question! Generally speaking, songs I’d written in the past had been focused on feelings that were coming from within myself. I may have been speaking to somebody else in the song, but I was mostly trying to process my own emotions. I’ve found that when I’m writing songs focused on only my perspective that there can be a layer of self-protection in there: if I’m not fully vulnerable in the song, nobody will know but me.
With ‘You Will Find a Garden,’ I had to challenge myself to take myself out of the equation because I wasn’t writing something for me. It was tough! But I think it also made me more comfortable with vulnerability and also with writing more songs that were speaking to/for other perspectives. Like ‘The Other Side’ and ‘Progeny’ are two songs that come to mind from the album that take on perspectives outside of my own or speak to another person from outside of my own feelings and they were both written after “You Will Find a Garden.” I don’t think either of those songs, which respectively deal with a friend of mine who passed away and the concept of fatherhood, would be here without ‘You Will Find a Garden.’
But it’s a difficult thing to write something very personal. On one hand, since I was creating this song to be a gift, I really wanted to make it as perfect as possible for my partner and had to actively identify the ego in that intention and get over it. On the other hand, I had to keep in mind that as a songwriter it’s never possible to fully extricate your perspective from what you’re writing so I had to strike a balance. Sharing it with her was really scary too, but in the end, she loved the song and that was enough for me.”
CS: Do you have any advice for people who can relate to the song?
H: “Every situation is different, but I know for me that while being in a long-distance relationship certainly has its hardships I’ve realized that acknowledging & confronting my feelings (whether positive or negative), my fears, and my anxieties has been deeply rewarding. It’s super easy to run away from negative feelings, but learning how to face them head-on can foster a lot of growth both as an individual and as a partner. Also, to me keeping an open line of communication and being vulnerable is the #1 way to support a partner, even if it’s difficult.
I also admire the hell out of, and am inspired by, my partner for betting on herself and chasing her passions. So to anybody out there who is wrestling with a decision to take the leap into pursuing their own dreams, even if it’s scary I know it’s worth trying!”
CS: You mentioned that this single sparked your album into existence, is there anything else you can share about your new album with us?
H: “Absolutely, I’m really excited for it. It took me three years and it’s definitely the most challenging project I’ve ever worked on because I wanted to go deeper with this project than I did on my debut EP. The album is a loose narrative that centers around losing personal faith, faith in those around us, and faith in ourselves. Structurally, the songs reflect my own personal journey of losing religious faith, and regaining faith in myself as an individual while also challenging some traditional ideas of masculinity. To me, that’s what the garden in the album title You Will Find a Garden Where You May Rest represents – a place of faith in the self.
Thematically, I was really focused on writing about purity, the father-son relationship, toxic masculinity, body image issues, longing for distant love (of a partner and of a spiritual nature), and working through two near-death experiences that I’ve had. What was really cool about writing all of these songs is that in isolation they seem disconnected, but once I started putting the puzzle pieces together I realized everything came down to wrestling with faith in myself. Finding that realization unfurl throughout the writing process was empowering, especially because I had to relinquish a lot of control within myself to really get vulnerable with the lyrics and make that discovery, and I felt like it forced me to grow as an artist.
I’m super thrilled to finally be releasing it this year.”
CS: Would you say “You Will Find A Garden” sets the tone for the entire album?
H: “Again, in isolation, I don’t think so because it’s very distinct from the other pieces – both in how it sounds and how upbeat it is. There’s a good amount of ground I try to cover throughout the tracklist, which looking back is definitely reflective of my personal experiences and growth throughout the writing process. But what I will say is I think it’s the song that most represents the culmination of the journey I’m aiming to represent throughout the album, and it’s a very, very special song to me. Probably the most proud of a song I’ve ever been.”
CS: What does your “garden” look like?
H: “Oh gosh, the Garden of Husks would definitely include many, many vines, lots of tall blooming flowers and a green velvet chaise to lounge in! Definitely the type of garden you would want to get lost in for a day.
My IRL garden looks a little over-crowded if I’m being honest. I love plants, and probably have a few too many in my apartment. But I’ve always found a sense of comfort in plants (especially living in NYC) and I find a lot of inspiration from their essence.”
CS: Since we’re Celeb Secrets, do you have any secrets you can share with us that we don’t know about yet?
H: “Well…I do have secret collaborative album with an artist named Grant Genske that’s coming soon too.”
